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9/29/2011

From Farm to Fame- Chapter 13.


Her angry gaze travel down from my face and stopped where I was holding Haylie, at which point she started to smile. "You know I think she's a cuter baby then you were, but she looks a lot like you did as well. Her daddy must be very handsome, he sounds like such a nice boy too, seems like you are doing okay out here."

Hopefully Haylie could keep that smile on her face, because I wasn't going to be able to hide anything any longer. "Mom, Gaige isn't....uh... well... Gaige isn't their father." It was hard to tell her, I knew everything else would come out know, and felt ashamed.

"Oh" It took her a moment to process what that meant. "Rachelle, what have you done? Does he know this? You guys have been dating a long time haven't you?"

"Yes mom, we've been together since before, and yes he knows. I told him right away. It's complicated mom, it's not quite like it sounds." I avoided the fact that Gaige and I were more than dating, I figured it would be a bit too much for her to handle at that moment.

"Well than what is it, if it isn't how it sounds? He sounds like a very nice boy, and very forgiving. I wouldn't reccomend risking your relationship with him."

I sighed. "Just come in, I'll go put Haylie down, and we can talk. I don't think we should have this conversation standing in the doorway."

I went to find my mom a few minutes later. She was sitting on the sofa, she wasn't smiling anymore, but she didn't look angry either she looked confused, and hurt.  "Ok mom, are you sure you want to hear the whole story? Wether I tell you it or not, you are probably not going to be very happy with me, just about different things" I knew I couldn't tell her without revealing that Gaige and I were engaged, and I knew it would hurt her, she was already hurting from the fact that I hadn't told her I was pregnant.

"I'm not sure I want to know, but I'd also like to know. I'd like to hear that it isn't what it sounds, I don't want to think of you as that kind of girl. So just tell me."

I told her the whole story, and waited for her reaction. It was long wait, she sat in silence for several minutes trying to take in what I had said. Her tone when she finally spoke suggested that she had given up. "Rachelle, what happened to you? I can understand everything else but I can't understand why you've kept so much from me. Maybe it would be best for me to go home, if you can't be honest with me."

"Mom, don't leave. I'm sorry I just didn't know how to tell you anything. It wasn't to hurt you. Please stay." I only dreaded her coming because I dreaded her finding everything out. I still missed her. She didn't respond and sat perfectly still looking very hurt. "Ok, well I'm going to go check on the babies. Please don't leave."

I shut the door when I got into the nursery. I was actaully just looking for an excuse to get away and call Gaige. "Hey honey.... you mad?"

"Yes, I'm mad! Why did you call her?!"

"She called to talk to you, I answered. She asked why there was crying in the background, I told her.  She was the one who suggested coming to help, I just agreed. I want you to have help, but I knew you wouldn't be able to avoid telling her everything once she got there. It's beyond time for her to know Rachelle, she deserves that."

"Yes, well she's extremely hurt right now and I don't think she'll forgive me. You shouldn't have told her. You should have let me call her back and break it to her myself. I don't think it made it any easier to hear it from you."

"That's not my fault Rachelle, and you know it. If you had told her everything from the start it wouldn't have been an issue. She was going to be hurt anway. She'll come around, trust me."

"No she won't Gaige, she wants to leave already Gaige...she won't talk to me at all now. Please just stay out of my business Gaige, before you mess everything else up."

"You'll forgive me. Think about it though, would you stay mad at Haylie or Ian for any reason? Would you cut them out of your life like that?"

"No, of course not!"

"See, she'll come around."

"I hope you're right. I should go see if she's still there and how she's doing. Love you."

"Love you too, and it'll be ok."

I hung up, he was probably right but I still worried, I'd never seen her so upset before. I imagined my dads reaction would be even worse. I sighed and sat down looking ahead at the cribs, I wasn't sure if I actually wanted to check on her yet. "Oh my babies, mommy loves you no matter what, but please don't ever do this to me."