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9/23/2011

From Farm to Fame- Chapter 11


I'd been feeling sick for a while, and had just been contributing it to all the stress I had been under, but Gaige convinced me to go to the doctors. Even if it was stress something needed to be done about it. I hated going to doctors but I knew Gaige would drag me down there if I didn't go, I wouldn't be able to get out of it. I wasn't at all prepared for what I found out. I was pregnant, with twins.

I didn't know how to tell Gaige, I didn't know how he'd take it. I knew the thought of ever having kids terrified him, he wanted to adopt when the time came, he didn't want me to die like his mom did. I tried to convince him it was because she sick anyway, he couldn't expect every pregnancy to be doomed because she had died, but it was no use. I also knew that he hated the thought that I had ever been with anybody else, and since I didn't know if they were his I worried that he would hate them too.

I guess my worry showed, because Gaige started freaking out as soon as I got home. "What did they tell you Rachelle? You look like they told you're dying or something. You aren't are you? Please don't tell me it's that bad, I can't lose you Rachelle... I can't. I'll never be able to handle that."

He always made things so much more difficult. "I'm not dying or anything... I'm pregnant... with twins."

He looked happy and I was suprised. "That's great Rachelle, just look after yourself. Okay?"

"Well you took that better than I thought, what happened to your theory that pregnancy is just a death wish? and you do realize you might not be the father, right?"

"I guess that thought that we'll have a family is just so great. I'm going to be worried about you the whole time, but having a family is going to be so great. I don't like the thought that I might not be the father, but I'm still going to love them and you." I was relieved that he had taken it so well, and that he'd accept the twins no matter what.

The time flew by and before I knew it the twins were on the way. Gaige had gone back to school, but promised he'd come home to see the babies when they were born, so I called him before leaving for the hospital. He wouldn't be there for the birth, but I was glad he would come down to see us for a couple days. I also called Carlos, it had taken a lot to track him down since I couldn't remember his name at the time.
He'd made it clear that he didn't want anything to do with me or the twins even if they were his, but I figured he should know that they were on the way in case he had changed his mind. He hadn't.

I had one of each, a girl and a boy, Haylie and Ian. Having a boy and a girl was going to be great, and they were the cutest babies I'd ever seen. I couldn't wait for Gaige to arrive, and for us to be together as a family for the first time. I was so happy and loved them so much already that it didn't matter who the father was, though I could tell by looking at them.

From Farm to Fame- Chapter 10


Gaige didn't look pleased when I walked in, and I braced myself to be yelled at again but he didn't speak. "You wanted to talk, now you aren't going to say anything. I mean I have lots I could say, but I figured you'd want to go first."

"I'm just trying to decide if I really want to know the truth or not. I'm assuming that you slept with this guy, where did you think we stood when you did so? I know we yelled and I know you were hurt and angry, but neither of us said we were breaking up."

I felt even worse, if it was possible, he was going to ask all the tough questions. "I didn't know what to think. You told me you hoped your next fiance wouldn't be so stupid and self-centered, I mean you never said you want to break up but that made it seem like you did."

"I guess I can see how that left you wondering. What about all the times I called you, you couldn't have answered one of those calls and found out, or called me and found out?"

"I don't even remember you phoning, I don't remember anything but waking up in his apartment. I don't know why I didn't answer... it's like yesterday never even happened for me, I don't remember it at all."

"I see, this is the one I really don't want to ask. I really don't know if I can handle the answer"

I knew what he was going to ask, the expression on his face said it all. It made me feel horrible that he had to ask it, that he did already know. "Gaige... I love you, only you. This guy doesn't mean anything. I don't know him. I don't know how I ended up there, but I can guess alcohol had a lot to do with it. I do know I couldn't get out of his apartment fast enough after I woke up, and that the only thing I though about was how stupid I was... and how I dreaded telling you because I was afraid I'd lose you. I love you Gaige, I will always love you and you only."

He sighed and sat back down on the sofa, he looked relieved. "That's all I really wanted to know. Just don't do that ever again, you scared the crap out of me. I don't want to lose you to somebody else. I do however want to go beat this guy up."

I laughed and sat down with him. "Ok...but let's not worry about that right now, you can beat him up later"
We sat and talked for hours about what would happen now that everything had changed so much. We agreed to postpone the wedding. Summer was coming up fast, and it just didn't seem like good timing anymore... I also hadn't told my parents yet. Gaige would finish the semester online so he could we could be closer together and be there for each other while we tried to cope with Rose's  death. We talked about trying to find a house of our own, it didn't seem right to stay in Rose's guest house anymore, and the main house seemed too empty without her.