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9/25/2011

From Farm to Fame- Chapter 12


I'd been sleeping when Gaige arrived but awoke to see him holding Ian and watching me, I smiled at him. He smiled back, but I could tell that he was disappointed and was trying to hide it. It was obvious that Carlos was the father, but it was also obvious that Gaige loved them very much already even in his disappointment

I had been sleeping when Gaige arrived, but awoke to a tender kiss on the forehead. I smiled at him "Hey"

He smiled back but I could see the disappointment hidden behind the smile, he had seen them, he knew. "Hey, How are you feeling?"

"I'm tired, but ok. You saw them I take it. I'm really sorry." I started crying. I felt bad, but the extreme exhaustion just made it worse.

Gaige gave me a comforting look and stroked my cheek. "Don't cry, don't apologize. They may not be mine biologically, but they will be mine in every other way. I love you, and I love them. I will be there for them and for you, every step of the way. I will be the one to love them, to comfort them when they are sad or scared, to punish them when they misbehave. I will dance with Haylie at her wedding and teach Ian to play catch. They will see the difference in the mirror, but the will never feel it in their hearts."

I just cried even more, he was amazing. He was so understanding and he always knew just what to say. I started imagining all of us as a family, along with a child that Gaige had fathered. I guess it had been a dream, as I woke up and found out I was able to go home now, they were just waiting for me to wake up.

I was excited, and everything seemed so perfect. I had two beautiful babies, Gaige was by side, and we were all on our way to a brand new house. It was nothing special, we'd gotten it extremely cheap because it many repairs. After paying for repairs we didn't have much left to make it look really nice. It was home though, it was our own, and it felt great.

It was much different at home then at the hospital, Gaige's smile no longer masked his disappointment. Being at home with the babies and spending more time with them, seemed to get rid of his disappointment. I knew he said he'd love them anyway, and I never doubted that he would try.... but I worried about how successful he would be. I had no reason to doubt him anymore. He never let Haylie out of his sight, he was protecting her as any father would protect their baby girl. The way he looked at Ian was priceless, he looked at Ian probably the same way I looked at Haylie, they already had the father-son bond.

Gaige only stayed for a few days before he had to go back to class, and it didn't seem so perfect and exciting anymore. I started freaking out, but Gaige tried to assure me that I'd only have to be on my own for a couple days. He had enlisted some help for me, I had a feeling who the help was. I did not like it.