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9/09/2012

From Farm to Fame: Haylie- Chapter Ten

I wondered more than ever about what creatures lurked around the world that nobody ever knew about. My mom was a vampire, and my fiancé was brought back from the grave by a genie. What other creatures were there? What powers they did have? There was definitely more to the world than I ever could have imagined. I asked Chase one night as we talked in bed, one of the few chances I had to talk alone. It wasn't like the conversations we'd been having about the twins, and planning a wedding again, our futures together. It felt kind of awkward. "What's it like? Death, I mean.... the afterlife." I knew he'd laugh but I had to ask anyway. It is life's most unanswerable questions. Those who already know the answer are dead, and those who seek it will only find it by dying. I hated questions that I didn't know  an answer for, I hated things I didn't know, so naturally this most unanswerable question was the one I wanted the answer to the most. I just wasn't crazy enough to die for it, not without knowing what I was dying for, there's too much to live for to give it all up for something unknown.

I knew about ghosts, a little bit anyway. I knew their colour represented how the person died, that I had figured out while working and observing at Twinbrook's graveyard, I didn't however know how person became a ghost. Was it the old unfinished business theory, or did everybody have a ghost after death? Not everybody could, what about the vampires? If vampires and ghosts existed, what other creatures did? Every theory flowed into another, and everything I learned changed a theory, and somehow I felt like I knew less than ever before. I had to know more. I had to know it all.

As I expected he laughed, and shook his head. "I missed you."

"Don't laugh, I'm serious."

"I know. I love that about you... no girl would ever ask me that. I just don't know what to tell you. I wasn't really anything, and I don't really know anything. I was just invisible to the natural world, and I may as well have been to the natural world."

"Why?"

"I wasn't even a ghost like you know them to be, just a spirit floating around. I could see you, and watch over you, but I could never make myself seen to you. I hated that, when I watched you cry, I hated not being able to do anything about it."

"But why weren't you able to make yourself visible when others can?"

"I don't know....there's a lot to the supernatural world, it's too much to understand even after living in it. You do know somebody who's been part of it for much longer, and who has more power and freedom in it. Perhaps you should ask them."

Of course. Mom. It had to be Mom. I still hated her, though I couldn't explain why any more. There had been something redeeming in her handing over the genie lamp. There was something so human about how much she had cared for dad, as I was sure she only handed it over because she knew I'd try to bring him back with it. Still I thought back to when I'd first found out that she was a vampire as she stood over the twins cribs, there had been something in the her tone as she had tried to calm Ericka that almost seemed sincere and caring. Perhaps I had misunderstood her, and I tried to think of what I would do in her situation. I couldn't imagine not being part of my children's lives, but the thought of the danger I could expose them to scared me too. I still didn't feel her choice was the right one, but thinking about it I realized it would have been a much harder decision than I ever thought. Still I couldn't get rid of that anger, though I didn't really know what it was for, I still wanted to drive a wooden stake through her heart so she'd never bother me again.

I went outside anyway, my desire to find answers stronger than my hatred for her. Though I realized I had no idea how I would find her. She just showed up when I really didn't want her around. I did the only thing that I could think of and started calling her name like I was looking for a lost puppy. "MOM!" I wandered down towards the beach as I did so, moving farther away from the house where my siblings would be wondering what the screaming was about.

She was already standing on the beach staring blankly across the ocean. Something seemed different about her. She looked as if she had aged about 20 years since I'd last seen her, she looked her age, not mine. She seemed to glow slightly less. She looked tired and like she'd been crying, and wanted to cry more. She looked so fragile, so human. I couldn't think of what to do but hug her, I couldn't hate the woman in front of me, I felt too sorry for her. "Are you okay?"

"I will be, I have to be. I think you understand exactly how it feels."

I nodded, I understood, but that didn't reassure me at all. I never felt okay without Chase, I don't think I ever would have, and I couldn't see how mom would ever be okay without dad. I didn't know what to say, I felt like I should have, but I didn't. Everything people told me when Chase died, about how it would be okay and I would be okay. The looks they gave me that seemed to be a judgement of how crazy I'd gone, watching to see if they could say anything without upsetting me. I hated all of it, it never helped. I wouldn't be okay, it was a lie, and looking at me like there was something wrong only reminded me that something was wrong. There wasn't really anything to say, so I just turned back towards the ocean, and we stood in silence for what seemed like several hours.

It was mom that broke silence by speaking, while I stood still trying to figure out what to do or say. "I'm sorry, you must've been looking for me for a reason. I don't mean to distract from that."

"Maybe this isn't the time."

"I have nothing but time, and none of it is ever the right time. It's always something.  Your time has a limit, make use of what you've got. Your time is more valuable, good or bad, mine is nothing either way. Don't worry about me."

"Okay... I was just wondering what you could tell me about the supernatural world. All this has me wondering more than ever."

I listened to her whole story never interrupting, never growing impatient as the night faded into the day, it was just fascinating to listen to. I was almost jealous of everything she knew, everything she saw, that no human ever even imagined. Ghosts and zombies, vampires and werewolves, and witches and fairies. All the creatures that exist in our books and on our televisions, all real. Not necessarily as they were depicted, but real anyway. Supernatural beings fighting other supernatural beings in a war to prove their race the most powerful. Supernatural beings attempting to take over the natural world.   The laws created between the supernatural and natural being to protect both worlds, laws nobody wanted to agree to but all did to defend their own race. So became the town of Moonlight Falls, a town where the supernatural beings were free from those laws. They could fight each other and do as they pleased. It was guarded by the witches to protect the unsuspecting victims of the natural world. Natural beings who chose to accept the danger would be able to find the town and enter at will, anybody who wanted to be there was welcome, though it was very rare for natural beings to be part of the town. I wanted desperately to be one of those few. I wanted to see it all for myself. I had to.

She must have known what I was thinking, because she looked at me very seriously."You are not moving there. I can't protect you from all the danger there. I'm not going to let you go, I'm not letting you die" Her opinion wasn't going to count, but I didn't feel like arguing with her, and ignored it. I knew it was where I wanted to go. It was where I belonged, I didn't have to be there yet to know that. I'd go no matter what anybody else said, nobody would be able to stop me.


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And today also marks the one year mark of my story. So YAY! Big thanks to everybody who's been following for the last year, and been so patient with all the bumps along the way that have held back updates.  Hopefully they get rolling a bit better here very soon, as I finally got my new laptop today. Hopefully playing my game won't be such a crazy difficult process. Thanks again to everybody who's made it worth going through the last year and been reading so I haven't been writing to myself.