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1/18/2013

From Farm to Fame: Haylie- Chapter Twenty


Reflecting on the year as it crept to a close I couldn’t even begin to imagine what could have made it any more perfect, or what about it I could hope would improve in the following year, it had just been the most amazing year of my life. It had been crazy and busy and it seemed like I never even had a chance to blink before it was over, but it had just been perfect. I just wanted the following year to stay on the same path and there wouldn’t be anything more I could ask for.

The girls had celebrated their birthdays into childhood in the spring, it seemed way too soon though I knew it wasn’t, it was just hard to believe they were growing up so fast. They went to school in the fall and it took a bit to get used to them not being home during the day, it was nice to be able to have that time at home where I was totally alone, but it was weird at first and I missed them. That time alone at home helped me finish my novel too, which was set to release in the New Year. I was so proud of my girls too; they had good grades, took ballet after school, and they both wanted to go to art school for the following school year. I didn’t really like the idea of them going to school so far away from me, I would miss them like crazy and I’d never be able to stop worrying, but I promised I would send them as long as they kept their grades up and stayed on their best behaviour. I just tried not to think about it too much yet, I’d worry about it when it was actually time.

Things were great between Max and I, our relationship still felt as amazing and exciting as it did on the first date, if not more. He moved in just before winter, it just made sense since we spent so much time together anyway and it still wasn’t enough; I loved waking up to him smiling at me every day, it was hard to imagine any day could be bad if it started so nicely. He was great with the girls, and they loved him; he helped them with their homework, played games with them, read them to sleep and chased the monsters out from under the bed, he did all the things that a father would do and I loved it. I still knew the questions about their real father wouldn’t be far away and I still dreaded it, but I was happy that they had Max too. Max and I had also celebrated our one year anniversary together. We hadn’t done much to celebrate it, we had a nice dinner out, but since it was so close to the holidays we were a bit too busy to do much.

My siblings had also come to visit for the holidays, and I wanted to spend as much time as possible with them while I could. Nate brought his girlfriend, and she seemed just as sweet in person as she did in his descriptions over the phone of her. Ian brought his fiancée Alisha, I still didn’t like her and I knew their relationship hadn’t been going very well for a while, they’d postponed the wedding a couple times after a couple major arguments. Though they announced during their visit that Alisha was pregnant, with triplets, and it seemed to bring some joy back to their relationship as well as an incentive to work on mending the relationship. I hoped they could work it out, because I didn't want to see Ian be hurt, but it seemed too one sided to me. Elizabeth took time out of her busy touring schedule to come, though she only stayed for a couple days while everybody else stayed for a couple weeks while they had holiday time, she was having massive success with her singing career though and I could tell she enjoyed every minute of it so I was just happy for her getting that experience though I wished she could have stayed longer. Even Merissa came, and spent time talking with the family instead of just sitting on the sofa playing video games; she was working on changing her life around to involve something more than gaming, nobody was sure what had inspired the change and wondered how long it would last but we were proud of the effort and hoped she kept it up.

Max wanted New Year’s Eve to just be the two of us however, though I wanted to spend it with my family since I only had a couple days before they went, and I didn’t understand why it was so important to him since it was typically an occasion where people liked to be at large parties celebrating with all their friends and just having a good time; but it seemed important to him so I went along with it. We took snacks down to the park we went to on our first date; it was probably just as snowy and cold too. I really didn’t understand why he insisted upon spending so much time out in such weather but I did have to admit it was beautiful and peaceful and somehow made everything more romantic. We skated on the pond, and despite the promises that he wouldn’t let me fall I fell and took Max down with me several times before he decided skating wasn’t such a good idea. So he pulled out an MP3 player and some small portable speakers and we danced in the snow to the music, not stopping until the booms from the fireworks leading into midnight drowned out the music and we went to sit on the bridge where the view was better to watch them. 

I was too focused on the light show in sky to even notice what Max was up to, until I turned to wish him a happy new year.. “Last year was the most amazing year of my life, and it’s because of you. I want to know that this year will be just as amazing, and that every year after will be too. I don’t want to lose you ever, I want you forever. Haylie, will you marry me?”

It’s not like it was that big of a surprise honestly; we’d talked about it a bit, and I had a suspicion that it was what he was up to that made it so important that we spent the night together alone, but it still took me by surprise and had me jumping up and down while screaming and crying with joy “Yes!”

It always surprised me how he could always find a way to be more amazing, or make things even better than they were. Yet he always managed it. Already the year was off to a great start and seemed like it might actually be better than the previous year. I didn’t worry about what would go wrong next, or that we’d never actually make it to the wedding, I just knew somehow that we’d be able to work anything out together and I didn't feel scared at all or worry that we'd head down the same path that Chase and I went down.

1/10/2013

From Farm to Fame: Haylie- Chapter Nineteen


I’d had a great time talking with Max the night before; the twins had gotten tired at the festival and I had to take them home, but we’d picked up our conversation on the phone after I got them settled down for the evening and we talked until 2 in the morning, the same way we had at the festival, just about anything and everything. I’d learned a lot about him and we had a lot in common, he had a good sense of humour and just seemed like a really sweet guy; still I felt nervous all day about our date that night, excited but nervous. It had been a while since I'd actually been out on a date, not since Chase and I had been in the dating stage, and I really wanted it to go well because I really liked him.

When I heard him ring the doorbell it just intensified both emotions, but mostly the excitement, it was a good sign that he showed up and hadn’t changed his mind. The flowers that greeted me took away most of the nervousness. They were such a simple thing, but I’d never gotten flowers from a guy before, not even from Chase after several years together, and it was really sweet. “Aww… they’re beautiful, thanks. I’ll just go put them in water and we can go.”

It took a while to find something suitable to put them in, though it probably would have taken less time if we hadn’t gotten caught up in conversation again. He didn’t seem to mind, and I certainly didn’t mind, but I didn’t know what he had planned if anything, we hadn’t discussed any plans other than when he’d  pick me up, and I worried we might be late for something. It was early in the afternoon still though, we agreed it be nice to meet in the afternoon so we could have plenty of time without worrying about when we get home, so I was sure we could find something either way. I didn’t bother to ask until we were leaving when it was too late to speed things up at all, so it was more just out of curiosity. “So where are we going anyway?”

“I thought we could just take a walk around town and decide when we see something we want to do, unless you have something you want to do? I’m not good at planning things anyway, but it’s a lot harder in a town I don’t know very well. Besides, last time I was just walking around looking for something to do, I found you, maybe we’ll find something just as amazing together.” 

“Well, when you say it that way, I don’t think I can say no.” I did enjoy the flattery, but I wasn’t actually convinced that I wanted to walk through the snow for however long it took to find something, but I had to admit I still didn’t know the town very well myself, and I had no better ideas.

“Good, let’s go then.” He grabbed my hand and we walked to the end of the walkway, where he stopped. “Left or right?”

“You weren’t kidding when said you’re bad at planning things” I teased “I guess I’ll pick right.”

“You thought about that too long, you’re no better” He teased back as we turned to the right and continued walking. 

We took turns deciding what way to go at every intersection or corner we came across. It was actually really fun, just walking around and talking while taking in all the sights Hidden Springs had to offer, I’d seen much of it already but it was just as beautiful every time and it was even better with such great company to share it with. When we came across a café we stopped in just long enough to grab a coffee each and some baked goods to snack on, and decided to find a place where we could make a bit of picnic and just relax for a little while. We found a nice park with a pond and beautifully landscaped garden and decided that’s where we’d stop, we’d have our little picnic and just stay there until we felt like turning back, since it was near the edge of town and it had been a few hours already.

At some point the sun started to set and it started to cool off, and we snuggled up close to watch it. There hadn’t been much silence until that point, but it still felt so nice just to be close to him; it felt perfect. I felt like I’d forgotten so much about what it was like to have somebody and he was just reminding me of how wonderful it was, but it was still like a whole new experience because I’d felt like I’d never had such a perfect moment with Chase. Not that I hadn’t had some wonderful times with him, and I hadn’t thought at some point that just being snuggled up close to him was perfect. It just seemed so different with Max, like I’d been wrong about what perfect was in every moment before that.

1/01/2013

From Farm to Fame: Haylie- Chapter Eighteen


“You are playing on a laptop when you could be enjoying the beauty of nature all around you?” He was already annoying but somehow just his voice made me feel things I wasn’t ready to feel again yet; fluttery love struck feelings. I had to bury those feelings deep down somewhere inside myself. I wasn’t ready to be over Chase yet, even if the rumours were that he was already over me. I'd never forgive him for abandoning the twins, and a very large part of me hated him for it, but there was still a small part that loved him. The part that still loved him wasn't ready to let go of the good memories and promises for the future, it wasn't ready to pretend that it was okay if it was all over, because it wasn't.

I didn’t bother to look up at him, I just wanted him to go away. “I’m writing actually, and I find this to be a good place to write. I especially like how peaceful it is. So if you want to leave me alone, that’d be great.”

“What if I don’t want to leave?”

“Do so anyway.”

I watched him walk out of the corner of my eye as he pulled the chair around from the other side of the table to sit right beside me, barely leaving an inch of space between us. “Na, I think I’m just going to sit right here and enjoy the view. It is after all a public place, so you can’t really make me leave.”

I hated how those feelings were trying to climb back out, and I knew he knew what he was doing to me. I was sure he did it all the time. I didn’t even have to look at him, it was in his voice he was one of those gorgeous guys who could get any girl with ease and he knew it. He loved it, and he would be the type of guy who slept with a different girl every day and then threw her away like trash, never wanting anything more or anything meaningful. I tried to ignore him and kept trying to keep those feeling pushed back down where they belonged, but I could tell that he was watching me far more than anything else and it annoyed me, I almost wanted to slap him for it. “The view is that way.” I snarled and pointed straight ahead.

“There are incredible views all over the place here. I was looking at the one to the side, you just happen to be in the way. Though, I do enjoy comparing the beauty of you and the view... you definitely win, and that’s pretty hard...”

It was so cheesy and I didn’t believe it, but it let a whole bunch of those stupid fluttery feelings out anyway. I didn’t even know how to respond, I was sure whatever I said would encourage him somehow; if I let him know that part of me had melted at that comment he would keep going and I wouldn’t be able to push down the rest of those feelings again, but if I told him I wasn’t interested and to go away he’d accept it as a challenge to find a way to gain my interest. I just went back to trying to ignore him.

That didn’t work either, because it was only a few minutes before he started commenting on what I had been writing and pointing out every typo I had made, literally pointing at it so I couldn’t ignore his hand in the way of my screen. I finally turned to face him ready to snap at him, he was just getting to be too annoying, even those irritating fluttery feelings were settling down. They came back even stronger when I actually looked at him he was indeed gorgeous, like a god, and I couldn’t even find words to say. I still wanted to not fall in love with him, but it was getting so much harder.

 I knew I had to get away from him. I just shut my laptop and walked away, without saying a thing. I could hear him calling out behind me; wanting me to stop, wanting my number, wanting to know who I was, wanting to know if I’d be there the next day. I kept walking trying to tune his voice out and trying not to look back, but I couldn’t help glancing back once after he’d given up on trying to get my attention; he looked confused and a bit hurt. I guessed he just wasn’t used to rejection, and I almost felt bad.

I hesitated to go back the next day. I still wanted to go there to write, with him distracting me I really hadn’t gotten caught up to where I wanted to be, and I really needed to go back up to make up the lost time; it really was the best place to write. He wasn’t there when I finally convinced myself to go, I still didn’t manage to get anything done though. I kept thinking about him, wondering if he would show up. Eventually I gave up on writing and just sat there waiting and hoping he would show. I wasn’t sure why, I was still scared to allow myself to move on from Chase, but I just couldn’t push those feelings away any longer, it was tiring to do so as they were there at even the faintest thought of him and I was always thinking of him even when I didn’t mean or want to.

I went through phases where I was okay with not seeing him again and I didn’t need to wait for him knowing that he was probably over me already and wouldn’t show up again. Then I’d go through the phases where I had to go every day waiting for him to show up. Summer turned to fall and the phases where I didn’t care if I ever saw him again were shorter and less frequent and I spent more time waiting as the temperatures got cooler. Fall turned to winter, and the phases where I didn’t care stopped existing and I waited every day in the cold and the snow hoping he’d show up. He never did.

As the holidays approached and life got busier I stopped waiting for him. I wanted to worry about making it a special time for the girls before worrying about some guy that I didn’t really know. I wanted to make up for not being there for so long and make the most of being able to celebrate holidays and things with them again. I took them down to the winter festival to enjoy the season and the snow. It didn’t snow in Starlight Shores so they’d never have seen it, I thought they might like playing in it; I’d never seen it before myself and I found it fascinating. 

There wasn’t much for them but they enjoyed having their faces painted like tigers and crawling around in the snow growling at each other. When they got bored of doing so I tried to make a snowman for them as they seemed to be fascinated with one that somebody else had made. It was a pretty sloppy snowman and it looked like it was about to fall over or something, but the twins had enjoyed helping me as much they could, and I thought we did pretty good considering we’d never made one before. The twins started requesting a snow family, so I started to work on that when I heard somebody laugh. “That is a horrible snowman. It’s a good thing you’re a more creative and talented writer.”

I recognized his voice and looked to see him smiling at me. I smiled back at him, I hadn’t thought a lot about him for a week or two, but I was happy to finally see him again. “Hey, it doesn’t snow where I’m from. I’ve never made a snowman before. And those tiger cubs there” I pointed at the twins, who were still trying to roll around a snowball that was just too big for them. “are my helpers, tigers aren’t the best snowman makers you know, they prefer to chase and attack things... especially if it's snow, apparently.”

“Well, I guess a good enough snowman then; only because of the tigers though, and only because they are really cute tigers. I should probably run before daddy tiger chases after me though.”

“Daddy tiger isn’t around, I don't know where he is. He doesn't want to be around me or his cubs at all."

“Well then I guess I don’t have run then, unless you still want me to leave you alone…”

“Well it is a public place, so I can’t make you leave..." I joked "but I don’t want you to, as long as you show us how to make a good snowman.”

“Sounds like a good deal to me. I’m Maxwell by the way, you can just call me Max.”

“Haylie.”

The twins had gotten bored already and got back to growling and crawling around in the snow. Max and I just ended up sitting on the bench and talking. He only been visiting the town for a couple days when he was at Redwood Peak, and he'd thought I hated him so he didn't go back the next day, but he got tired of missing me and came back for good and hoping I'd have a change of heart. I thought it sounded too exaggerated until  I realized how I waited so many days for a guy who never showed up, which wasn't that much different. It felt like one of those moments in a romantic movie where everything finally comes together to make that too perfect moment that never happens in real life, no matter how hard you wish for it. I just hoped it lasted into the happily ever after.

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Also, I'm too lazy to make a whole new post for it, so happy new year to everybody out there, hope you have fun and stay safe, and may 2013 bring you only the best luck and lots of happiness.