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8/04/2014

Regretfully I've had to make a decision...

-sorry this is so long, I didn't quite mean for it to be (skip the 1st paragraph if you just want to get to the point)-

So recent events have put me in a position where I once again felt the need to delay. I know last chapter I was all “the next one's half done, it shouldn’t be long.” so I wasn’t expecting a delay now but that was when the chapter was half done; now it’s not. It was almost done, I had to get and edit screenshots and I was set but the writing and some screenshots were done. I lost all my writing because word decided to be an asshole and delete the whole document, minus approx. 10 words… that had been taken out and changed (I’m so damn happy I can finally write properly by hand now, it’s back to doing first copies by hand so I always have a hard copy). As some of you know, but others probably don't, my parents were also in an accident on the weekend (everybody’s okay aside from minor injuries). Now everything is a bit crazy in my house. My time is more limited right now as I help my family out however I can (and as I take the reminder to spend time with my family, especially as some of us have been feeling others don't necessarily want to be around each other. It seems an important time to remind everybody time with them is valuable). Emotions are kind of crazy for everybody right now, and stress levels are high. I should have been in the car, but I was sick so I was at home resting, I’m so damn lucky I wasn’t in the car because I likely would not be typing this right now. So needless to say it shook everybody up a fair bit, the outcome was so close to being so very different. I’m a naturally paranoid and emotion person, so just the what-if’s have been making me insane and the fact that I still get random emotional “I’m so glad you weren’t there” hugs doesn’t help calm me any (and apparently not supposed to expect them to end soon). I mean it’ll all pass in time, it’s starting to already, but it still making things difficult and probably will for at least a few days yet (it doesn't help it was a long weekend here, so it's delayed dealing with non-emergency aspects of the situation). I’m not in the right state of mind currently to work on redoing all my writing; I’m so obsessed with getting everything exactly right to how I had it before and I just can't focus on dealing with that now, I have enough stress (from stuff besides the accident too, just so much stress). By the time I get back into a normal pace, and manage to rewrite things to my satisfaction, and then still get the rest of what I need and do the editing of my screenshots I figure I’m looking at a couple weeks for a delay... at least (at the rate I’m going that could easily change). 

Anyway, I'm rambling so on to the point, I’ve put a lot of thought into it, and though it’s difficult in many ways to do, I have decided to cancel this story. Honestly I planned to basically end the story at the end of this generation anyway, it’s just time to look at bringing it to a close. Though I thought about continuing to play the family just without doing too much of a story, more just because I didn’t totally want to give them up I planned to just play them and keep updated on their lives and where the family ends up, just for my own curiosity and in case anybody else was curious too. Perhaps I will still do that, but it seems kind of awkward in the middle of the generation and I can imagine it just wouldn’t be the same wanting to connect everything back to the story, so I’m still trying to decide for sure on that one. I've thought a lot about this, I've thought about if things right now go better than expected, will I regret it? I was already considering it before the accident likely added time to the delay (and sometimes before that even, and nearly every time I delay... so a fair bit), honestly I still expected it to be pretty lengthy with all I have to redo and all I still haven't done, it's unlikely i'll gain that much time anywhere. A delay and it's length aren't the only problems. One of the problems is that I’m getting pretty bored; I still adore the family… I love Lexie to pieces; it’s not so much her that I’m bored of but the story. Though part of me is still excited too, the more I delay and drag it out the more bored I get and the more I lose my connection to the story (and it's getting to be too much). I really hate cancelling in the middle of the generation like this, I wanted to see it through to the end, and I didn’t want to jut cancel and leave everybody hanging on what happens, but I planned for a while to wrap this up in September (if I could pick up the pace enough, haha), and now I look at it and how much I have left to go and I just think “oh god, that much. This thing will never fucking end.”, probably not the thoughts I should be having if I want to keep this going. I feel bad for cancelling like this and not actually tying things up and ending the story nicely, but honestly if I keep dragging it out that’s not the ending that will happen anyway, it’s just going to fall apart and everybody will hate it before it ends and I don't want that, it's just as bad imo.

I guess, if anybody still wants to kind of see what happens with the family I can do as I said I was thinking of before and continue to play them and just not continue with the story like this, perhaps I can do one last bonus where are they now kind of chapter it seems kind of odd to jump so much like that but it’s another idea I had if anybody would like that (from there I’d probably keep going with future generations I was kind of thinking I might, it’s getting through and around the cancellation in the middle of the generation that’s difficult). Or if anybody has any other ideas, idk what as I don’t think there are many options but if you have something please feel free to let me know and I will consider it. I really don’t want to just end it like this, but I can’t keep going with things how they are, but I feel bad about it so I’m willing if there’s anything I can do that might help close this a bit nicer for people I’m willing to consider it. It might take a bit of time, but I'll get to it ASAP. It likely still won't take as long as it would to get the next chapter out, but it might take some time. 

If anybody is wondering (or if anybody would like to know what else I'm working on since this is done), The Barrett Legacy will continue, it's just this story. Hopefully with the cancellation of From Farm to Fame devoting time to it will be easier. So hopefully while it's been going at a slower pace too that will pick up in the near future as a lot of that slowness has been because it gets shoved aside for this.

Also one more place I'll still be found (you may or may not have noticed on my sidebar) is on my new simblr. On there I've started a bit of a story. I'm still trying to keep it nice and laidback and not too in-depth, but we'll see what happens, it wasn't even supposed to be a story at all. But I couldn't help imagining a bit of a background for my sims, and my game couldn't help creating some interesting gameplay and situations. Of course it's left me to figure out what everything means, there's a good chance that it won't stay too simple for too long.

So I'll still have those going, if anybody is following them or wants to start as this ends.

I guess all I have left to say is thank-you. Thank-you for all the support over the last almost 3 years. I only ever did this for myself, but it's always so nice to see other people who've enjoyed reading, and I appreciate everybody who's done so. I never expected this to last almost 3 years (though all those delays help add time, lol). Honestly my plans got totally changed around basically from day one, this was supposed to be a lot quicker (like lasting maybe a year or so). The title basically says what this was supposed to be and it was supposed to achieve that somewhat quickly, I had this little farm girl working towards fame and fortune and the idea was it would take a few generations... it was a rags to riches basically across several generations whatever it took. As I ramble again, back to the point, thank-you for making all this time possible. I only ever did this for myself, but I wouldn't keep going like this if it wasn't for the people who've supported me along the way, and I appreciate anybody who's ever taken the time to read, so thank-you so much. ♥